I have stood at the precipice of divorce, and later in life, entered its lonely confines. I do not like that, but I am thankful for the perspectives they brought me.
As I write this, there are two little boys asleep in their bedrooms about fifteen feet away from me. We share last names. They hang on my every action – the older one usually imitating my words and movements. There is not a single thing I would not do for either of them, but more than anything else, I cannot imagine walking away from them. The thought of purposefully leaving confused little eyes crushes my heart. Not to live motivated by fear, but consequences are good to keep in mind.
The entertainment industry can be a dark and dangerous place, and I am not referring to physical safety. The limitless temptations are baffling. Are they present everywhere else? Probably. But there is something altogether different about an industry built around mostly attractive people performing for people that idolize them. Add in long days, weeks and months on the road, in the office, or out at shows, and the issues are amplified.
I am not above any of the topics of which I write, and this is not a holier than thou discourse. Where do you think a lot of this motivation comes from? I simply want to call it what it is. When is the last time you saw an affair go well? When have you heard someone on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time in the office? When is the last time you talked with a child that enjoyed living amidst a broken mommy and daddy relationship? Rarely do temporary pleasures turn in to permanent joy.
This is difficult stuff. Let’s be very honest. In one way or another, each of us are tempted towards flashing screens that seem to light the way, but are nothing but the opposite of where we should be going. I have lived up-close with those that have taken the bait, and they will be the first to tell you it did not satisfy. All hell usually breaks loose. It may appear ok on the surface, but I have had enough conversations with those on the backend to be fully convinced that it rarely is.
Consider what this means for you. It is different for all of us. Whatever you may be silently leaning towards, it is not worth it.
The following lyrics, from one of my favorite artists, Andrew Osenga, have pierced my heart many times. The song is called “The Man of the House.”
You should have seen how I first saw her
Should have seen the way we danced
The bar became a ballroom
The haze became a trance
She kissed me like a serpent
And squeezed ’til my heart broke open wide
She told me that she loved me
Guess that’s when she crawled inside